Cricket in Whites? - The trials and tribulations of watching the Ashes in Argentina

Every sporting fan will have experienced being abroad when a major sporting event is on and being desperate to tune in. It is no longer the problem it was. All that is needed is a bit of organisation. Easy, or so you'd think.

However, cricket is about as well known in Argentina as I am. It is not on air at all. But this minor inconvenience aside, the Argentine cricket community were determined to watch the greatest cricket series on the planet. 

The new age of technology now means live feeds on the internet, so cricket is available to the masses. As a rule, Argentine cricket fans watch in the comfort of their own home on a lap top or in a group accompanied by an Asado (that’s a complicated BBQ to Brits).

A perfect evening in Argentina - Carne y Cricket

I chose the First Test Down Under to show some of the Argentine cricketers that I could mix it with the best in the kitchen stakes, by cooking 5Kgs of meat to perfection, while they watched the live stream on the computer.

Worryingly as I was cooking, I heard some rather concerning comments about the cricket from my cricketing charges, such as “Why are they playing in White?”, “Ricky who?” and “How can a cricket game last five days?" Our Ashes Asado ended prematurely at the behest of annoyed neighbours just after tea at about 2.30am. Which I thought was pretty early for a school night here.......

To further their education we enticed an American sports bar to link a computer up to a big screen with the promise of bringing 25 punters to the bar. The feed was great and so was the atmosphere. However, I was again perplexed with some of the comments I was hearing from some of the Yanks who frequent the bar.  The conversation went something like this. “Gee Brad, why does the pitcher keep throwing ground balls?” to which the reply came “I know Hiram, and why does the guy behind the hitter have two gloves on?” Bloody Septics, eh.......I think next time I will give the bar a miss. I'm sticking to the laptop, grill and vexed neighbours approach.    

Non Test Playing Nations World Cup Squad

This is part of an article I wrote for 'All Out Cricket' magazine last year which named my top 10 cricketers outside of Test cricket nations. I have now taken this a step further and below is my 2011 non Test playing nation world cup squad. Unfortunately this maybe the last time they get to compete at the highest level, due to the 2015 world cup only consisting of Test playing nations.  

1 - Trent Johnson

Ireland, New South Wales, Mosman

Age: 36

Role: Allrounder

This man has leadership qualities in abundance. The Aussie moved over to Ireland after a career playing for New South Wales. In the 2007 world cup he captained Ireland causing the biggest upset in world cup history when the 'Blarney Army' saw off Pakistan.

2 - Gerrie Snyman

Namibia

Age: 29

Role: Allrounder

After taking the prize wickets of Andrew Flintoff and Paul Collingwood in the 2003 world cup, this hard hitting all rounder has gone from strength to strength. Although he has generated interest from county sides, it would mean giving up his national duties for Namibia, something he is not prepared to do.

3 - Boyd Rankin

Ireland, Derbyshire, Warwickshire

Age: 26

Role: Right Arm Fast Bowler

At 6'8", Rankin is probably the tallest player in Associate/Affiliate cricket. He swapped the life of a cattle and sheep farmer for a professional cricket career and is now contracted with Warwickshire. He finished as Ireland's leading wicket taker in the 2007 world cup with 12 wickets.

4 - Ashish Bagai

Canada

Age: 28

Role: Wicket Keeper/Batsman

This 'City Slicker' has been combining a high flying banking career at UBS with international cricketing duties for over five years now. After he averaged 86 in the 2007 World Cricket League in Nairobi he was convinced he should take cricket more seriously and has now accepted a professional contract with the Canadian Cricket Board.
   

5 - Nial O’Brien

Ireland, Northamptonshire, Kent

Age: 28

Role: Wicketkeeper/Batsman

Averaging 35 in first class cricket, it was the gutsy Dubliner's match winning 72 that famously beat Pakistan in the 2007 world cup. He is a constant irritation to opposition batters with his endless on field chattering. His transition to the comm box should prove seamless.

6 - David Hemp

Bermuda, Free State, Glamorgan, Warwickshire

Age: 39

Role: Batsman

Born in Bermuda, bred in the UK. Hemp has amassed an amazing 15,520 first class runs in a highly successful career. As captain of Bermuda this elegant left hander always looks in control. He combines his international duties with his full time job in the UK as Director of Cricket at Solihull School.

7 - Ryan Ten Doeschate

Netherlands, Essex, Western Province

Age: 30

Role: Allrounder

Possessing an ODI average of 68 and a first class average of 49. This South African-raised Dutchman regularly hits balls out of the ground into the river Chelmer when on duty for Essex. He has the enviable reputation of being the most entertaining cricketer playing the game outside of Test cricket.

8 - Lucas Paterlini

Argentina, St Albans

Age: 28

Role: Allrounder

More 'wild child' than 'wild card', Paterlini is South Americas answer to Andrew Flintoff. Where Fred does pedalo, Lucas does Tango. The fiery allrounder is always a menace to top-order, finishing second in the bowling averages at the ICC Americas Division One competition in 2010.

9 - Mohammad Nabi

Afghanistan, Marylebone Cricket Club, Pakistan Customs

Age: 25

Role: Right-hand batsman/Offspinner

Born in a refugee camp in Pakistan, Nabi developed his cricket skills with the MCC YCs in 2006. This experience stood him in excellent stead, as he is now a successful international player with an ODI average of 35.

10 - Kyle Coetzer

Scotland, Durham, Scotland Under-19s, Western Province

Age: 26

Role: Right-hand batsman

The Scottish top-order batsman has played a key part in Durham’s success in the last three seasons. His quality was highlighted at the top level when he scored 51 against England last summer. He was introduced to the game by Grant Dugmore, the CEO of Cricket Argentina.

11 - Kenneth Kamyuka

Uganda, JACC, Wanderers, Destroyers, Tornado B, Nile

Age: 28

Role: Allrounder

Known as Double Zero due to his 00 squad number he shoots to thrill. The ICC Associate rumour on the street is he is now living in Canada and will be available to play for the ODI nation in 2012.

12 - Sushil Nadkarni

USA, India Under 19s, Maharashtra

Age: 33

Role: Left hand batsman

After starting his cricket career for state side Maharashtra in India he immigrated to the States to become an engineer. He has been in the international wilderness until last year he came to prominence for the USA in there vital Division Five win against Nepal where 12,000 people invaded the pitch.

13 - Thomas Odoyo

Kenya, Africa XI, Nairobi Gymkhana, Southern Rocks

Age: 32

Role: Allrounder

Making his debut at the tender age of seventeen in the 1996 world cup, Thomas has played a staggering 126 ODIs. He was the first ICC Associate player to complete the 2000 run and 100 wicket double at ODI level and also once held the ODI record seventh wicket partnership of 119.

14 - Rizwan Cheema

Canada, Canada A, Ontario

Age: 31

Role: Right hand batsman

Rizwan made headlines when he scored 89 off 61 balls against the West Indies in 2008. He moved to Canada in the early 2000s after being born and raised in Pakistan. In 2010 he almost made it to the big time when he made the short list for the IPL contract auction.

15 - Nawroz Mangal 

Afghanistan

Age: 25

Role: Right Hand Batsman/Offspinner
Since taking over as captain in 2007 he has led Afghanistan to become the first Affiliate cricket nation to gain ODI status. He spent most of his early years in refugee camps after fleeing Afghanistan to Pakistan after the Russian invasion. He has an ODI batting average of 39 and bowling average of 26.

No Cambio

In every country I have been to everyone wants to get rid of their change. People don’t want coins rattling around in their pockets. It is given to their kids to put in the piggy bank or if you are flash you may say “keep the change.” There are even machines where you can convert your change into hard cash at Tesco’s or Sainsbury’s. 

The situation is totally the opposite in Buenos Aires. If you don’t go out of the house with a decent amount of coins and low denominated notes you could be in for a rough day.

Buenos Aries Colectivos 

Let’s start with the buses. Buenos Aires has the most aggressive bus drivers in the world. These guys have been put in charge of a six ton weapon of mass destruction and they know it. Going around one way cobbled streets taking each gear change to maximum revs is the norm and they use the horn given the slightest opportunity. Don’t even bother joining the queue if you don’t have small change. The driver will in the best case scenario do a lot of waving with his hands and role his eyes while everyone in the queue says “Que pasa?” Or at worst he’ll throw you off. Most of the buses don’t have change for notes at all.

Where the problem starts -
the coin till on the Buses

Taxi drivers come a close second in the aggressive stakes, but it can be even more awkward because you have to pay at the end of the journey.  These guys are not armed with the weight of a bus but have the speed and nimbleness to show they mean business. Blindly ignoring road lanes, they do as they please. When you reach your destination you’d better have something close to the right amount or you will be sent to the nearest shop to get some change. I experienced this madness in my first week of being in Buenos Aires. Even buying groceries can be an issue. Usually, you’ll get your change eventually but don’t be surprised if it comes in the form of an extra banana or some sweets which is no use to me or a taxi driver.

The reason for the shortage is the bus companies have kept all the change and then sell it on for a premium of 8%. You can walk down some streets in Buenos Aires and hear people saying "Cambio Cambio" (change change) selling change on the black market. A deal is done by exchanging 50 pesos in notes and receive 45 pesos back in coins from the change hawker.

An unhappy shop keeper with a sign saying
buy cigarettes with with change - there are no coins

This in turn has created a nation of coin hoarders. People are simply afraid they will run out of change and will not be able to go about their normal lives. You will find a plate or a jar full of coins in every home in Argentina which is compounding the problem.

The government keep printing more coins and say there are enough, but nobody trusts anything the government says, so the hoarding continues. There is now a shortage of two peso notes which makes the problem worse.

Argentine Monedas (coins)

All this hoarding creates a web of lies and deceit, which I have to admit I have become a part of. I took the attitude that everyone was doing it and so would I! I first stepped into this web one day in a shop called Disco, Argentina’s equivalent to Waitrose. I bought some shopping worth around 25 pesos (about £4). I had 130 Pesos in my wallet so I nervously handed over a 100 peso note

so I would have some change for the rest of the day. 

When the cashier asked if I had any change I lied straight through my teeth and said no but I was sorry. I was surprised how easy it was to go over the edge to the dark side, but I was even more astonished when she told me that she didn’t have any change either. Well you can’t kid a kidder I thought and quizzed her. I said “so everyone who came in here today has paid with the exact change?” “Yes” she casually replied. She fell straight into my neatly laid trap.  I replied “well as it is 8PM in the evening you should have a lot of change then." At this point she knew the game was up and I had won cambio face off. She immediately called over her assistant to bring some fresh coins and notes to the till.