Lost in Translation - December 2009

Have you ever tried to explain what cricket is? In Spanish? In a country where only a few thousand people play the sport and it is not on TV?

I have had this unpleasant experience a lot in Argentina in the last few months and it is because of the directness of the people in their conversation. For instance, it would be frowned upon to ask how old you are in the first few questions after you meet someone, but in Argentina this is very normal. This question was put to my Mum over Christmas dinner and she obviously responded by saying “twenty-nine”. There was as hushed silence around the table, followed by a lot of Spanish which I could not understand and some very grim faces.

I know what question is coming after “What is your name?” it is “How old are you?” And then the equally inevitable, “Que haces?”, meaning, “what do you do?” At this point I like to think I have got this covered, I’ve been through it over a hundred times in Spanish classes and reply; “Entrenador de Cricket para Argentina”

A silence then falls and the questioner with a confused face will most definitely say, “Que?”

I then indulge in a bit more ‘explaining’. I’ll stop at the point where I think I have cracked it and wait for a response, something along the lines of, “Cricket no!” Accompanied by actions which look like the worst cricket shot in the world.

Do I look like I coach Croquet?

At the point of the crap stroke, more often than not I’ll think how wonderful this is. I can’t believe how many people in Argentina seem to know about the game. Cricket is obviously flourishing and it will not be long before we take on Rugby and Football for TV rights, after all it was the first organized team sport in Argentina.

Then it becomes clear, I suddenly realise why my apartment porter looks at me like I’ve just  landed from space, every time I emerge from my flat carrying my cricket kit. He pulls me over to his computer and points to his screen saver, exclaiming, “This is what you do, this is what you do!”

It’s at this moment my whole cricket-fuzzy world came crashing down before me. And most embarrassingly of all, I cringe when I think just how many people think of me as the National Coach of Croquet for Argentina.